Now I will fail

Last week I went for lunch with Justyna. I met her during my coaching course in London and we have a good chemistry.

I always enjoy moments like these, because as an entrepreneur it can sometimes be quite lonely.

Justyna said that she wanted to introduce me to a senior executive coach whom she knows well and has done a lot in the field of gender diversity.

I thought, go ahead, but why would this person want to spend her precious time on me?

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But at the end of the week I received an email in which Justyna connected us with each other.

Of course, I couldn’t resist googling this woman and nose on her website. It became clear to me that she coaches in a completely different ‘league’.

One day later I received the following message:

Justyna – thank you. Eefke – I would love to meet.

I have done a lot on diversity. In my exec career in GE and UBS and as a coach. So happy to share / help / tell how others do it etc.
Today I am speaking at Woman=Force conference for female leaders :).

So all in. Hope to see you soon!

And then it happened

I heard a little voice in my head saying: “You are not good enough. What do you really know? You will make a poor show.” This caused a kind of restless anxiety in my body.

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Fortunately, I recognized the voice because it is often present. Just like a lot of other voices, but I’ll come back to that another time ;).

I also know that I’m not the only one who experiences this feeling of uncertainty, because 70% of people sometimes suffer from this imposter phenomenon (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011).

The imposter phenomenon is a psychological pattern in which someone doubts his or her performance and has a persistent fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’.

As a result, for example, someone prepares everything in an extreme way or postpones things.

Maybe you recognize it yourself?

Focus on my positive voice

Through the sessions with my own coach, I learned to focus on my positive playful voice as soon as the ‘you are not good enough voice’ was present. This positive voice says:

“Just go for it because every moment is another chance”.

So next week I’ll have lunch with this ‘Champions League playing’ coach and I am really looking forward to it!

Because if it doesn’t result in anything specific for my coaching practice She does it, it is certainly a chance to learn from the experiences of this interesting woman.

Oh yes, and if you are curious about how some celebs (like Michelle Obama and Jennifer Lopez) deal with their imposter feelings then definitely read this article.

Have a great week!


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